Best Presidential Jokes | Histolines Collection '.#BestPresidentialJokes.'#history #Vintage #collection

Timeline of historical events and photos in the collection

Best Presidential Jokes

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1785

John Adams

Alexander Hamilton

in 1785

" That bastard brat of a Scottish peddler!"

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1788

George Washington

in 1788

" Now you are well served for coming to fight in favour of the American Rebels, all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, by catching that terrible Contagion — domestic felicity — which like the small pox or the plague, a man can have only once in his life: because it commonly lasts him (at least with us in America — I don’t know how you manage these matters in France) for his whole life time."

letter congratulating the Marquis de Chastellux on his recent marriage

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1803

Thomas Jefferson

John Adams

in 1803

" He[John Adams] is as disinterested as the being who made him."

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1825

John Quincy Adams

in 1825

" A barbarian who cannot write a sentence of grammar and can hardly spell his own name."

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1836

James Madison

on 6/28/1836

" I always talk better lying down."

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1884

Grover Cleveland

in 1884

" Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa? Gone to the White House. Ha ha ha!"

who had two separate administrations but just not enough good quips to fill them both, so we turn to a joke told not by but about Cleveland during the 1884 race, concerning rumors that he had fathered a child out of wedlock

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1915

Warren G. Harding

in 1915

" Jerry — you recall Jerry, whose cards I once sent you to Europe — came in while I was pondering your notes in glad reflection, and we talked about it."

referring to his penis, which he named Jerry, in a 1915 love letter to his mistress Carrie Fulton Phillips

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1921

Warren G. Harding

in 1921

Warren G. Harding throws out the first ball a 1921 Washington Senators game.

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1961

John F. Kennedy

in 1961

" I don’t see anything wrong with giving Bobby a little legal experience before he goes out on his own to practice law."

responding to criticism that Robert Kennedy wasn’t qualified to be attorney general

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1963

John F. Kennedy

in 1963

John F. Kennedy laughs over a spilled tray of coffee on the deck of the carrier Kitty Hawk in June 1963.

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1971

Richard Nixon

in 1971

" Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I wouldn’t want to wake up next to a lady pipefitter."

in Ms. magazine when asked about women’s lib

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1974

Gerald Ford

in 1974

" At a time when funds for the defense budget may be cut, it’s comforting to see so many of the big guns from your industry still getting loaded."

at a boozy Radio and Television Correspondents’ Association dinner

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1979

Jimmy Carter

in 1979

" Press Secretary Jody Powell “has been trying to persuade me to reopen the White House swimming pool — suddenly. . . Any of you that survive would, of course, have permanent swimming privileges."

riffing at the correspondents’ dinner about the old White House indoor swimming pool that Richard Nixon covered over to build the press room

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1989

George H. W. Bush

in 1989

" People say I’m indecisive, but I don’t know about that."

at the 1989 Gridiron Club dinner

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2000

George H. W. Bush

in 2000

" Over the last few months I’ve lost 10 pounds. Where did they go? Why haven’t I produced them to the independent counsel? How did some of them manage to wind up on Tim Russert?"

at the 2000 White House correspondents’ dinner

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2006

George W. Bush

in 2006

" Cheney’s a good man. He’s got a good heart. [Pause] Well, he’s a good man."

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2012

Barack Obama

in 2012

" I have a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew."

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